Friday, May 14, 2010

Last Night in a One Act - True Story

[Mr. Monkey Pants is downstairs in his room, silently rolling around in his crib. Mommy and Daddy are upstairs sound asleep. It is 3:50 AM.]

Mommy hears a strange scream coming from Mr. Monkey Pants’ room.

Mommy: Brian, did you hear that?

Daddy: Yeah, what was that?

Mommy: I don’t know. I’ve never heard a cry like that before. I’ll go check.

Mommy goes downstairs, into Mr. Monkey Pants’ room and turns on the bedside lamp.

Mommy: Oh Mr. Monkey Pants, you got yourself all turned around. What other baby moves this much in his sleep. I’ll put you back in your place.

Mommy tries to turn Mr. Monkey Pants so he is parallel to the sides of his crib. As she does this, he starts to scream again.

Mommy: What’s a matter baby? Why won’t you… Oh my goodness. How did you get your foot stuck in the back of the crib? Just lay there and Mommy will get it out… Uh-oh, Mommy is too short to reach back there. Daddy? Daddy? I need your help.

Daddy: I’ll be right down there.

Mommy hears Daddy come running down the stairs while Mr. Monkey Pants continues to scream.

Daddy: What’s a matter, why won’t he stop crying?

Mommy: He has his foot stuck in the crib. I can’t reach back there so I needed to wake you up. Can you get his foot out? Be careful… do you need to pull that hard?

Daddy is able to get the crying Monkey out of his crib and holds Monkey close to his chest.

Daddy: Shh…shh…shh. It’s okay. Daddy got you out. It’s okay. Why won’t he stop crying? No, shh…shh..shh. Daddy’s here. It’s okay.

Mommy: I think he is too worked up. I’ll get a bottle ready and we can feed him to settle him down. Can you bring him out here?

Daddy: Shh…shh…shh. It’s okay. Mommy is making you a bottle. Do you want to see the water come out of the refrigerator into a glass? I don’t know why he likes this but he really does.

Mommy: He is probably trying to figure out how it happens. I’m sure he will take apart my refrigerator in a few months. Can you bring him over to the sofa and put him in my lap? The bottle is ready.

Daddy: Okay, but I want to soothe him a little more. Why is he crying again?

Mommy: He just saw the bottle. Give him to me, I’ll feed him and put him back to sleep. You go back to bed. I’m sorry I had to wake you, I just couldn’t reach.

Daddy: It’s okay. I’ll try and get back to sleep.

Mommy: Are you all better now sweetie? Yeah, Daddy saved you and now you have calmed down? Go ahead, drink the whole bottle, then Mommy will change your diaper and you can go back to sleep.

Mommy starts to sing in a low voice to Mr. Monkey Pants. When he finishes his bottle, Mommy puts him back to sleep and returns to her bed.

Daddy: Did he go back to sleep?

Mommy: I think so. He isn’t making any noise. He was still very tired.

Daddy: I’m sure. That must have been scary.

Mommy: Let’s try and go back to sleep.

Daddy: Okay, love you.

Mommy: YTT

Daddy turns off the light. Just as we hear snoring coming from the bed, there is a loud crash.

Mommy: What was that?

Daddy: Looks like Socks knocked the glass off of my night table.

Mommy: Okay, I’ll go and get the broom, you make sure the cats don’t walk through the glass. It’s been quite a night… no?


1 comment:

  1. Poor Evan and poor Mommy and Daddy - have I told you yet that sleeping through the night for YOU happens about age 25 (after bouts of sickness, driving with a learner's permit, finally finishing school, llving in their own house ) - maybe!