The truth is... I'm a slacker. (Ouch, you're jaw dropping that fast must have hurt.)
It's okay. I came to terms with this a long time ago, about the same time I came to terms with the fact that I'm clumsy (I know, another big shocker for those who know me). Being a slacker is simply one of the symptoms of getting bored easily. I get very excited about things in the beginning, expend all of my energy, end up bored and don't always complete things or complete them well (wow, I should put that on my resume).
I was thinking about my "slacker-dom" early this morning (like 5:30 AM) when I was feeding Monkey and I started a list of all the things I have slacked on in my life:
- Becoming President of the United States (president of 3rd grade was hard enough... besides, I inhaled - sorry mom)
- Writing the great American novel (Didn't Fitzgerald already do that? Aren't there like 12 thousand other people trying to do that right now?)
- Losing those 10 lbs in high school
- Playing soccer through my entire educational career (apparently smoking got in the way of that)
- Going for that "summa cum laude" stuff... I guess I will forever have to be happy with just the "cum laude"
- Losing those 20 lbs in college
- Finishing my Master degree (because the world needed another white girl with a Master in Gender & Ethnic Studies for modern literature)
- Losing those 30 lbs in my mid-20s
- Painting my condo (I mean I did it, but only one coat in each room - after that I decided it looked like a faux finish, something Brian wouldn't let me believe once he moved in)
- Losing those 40 lbs when we moved to Texas
- Hanging pictures in TX - it took 4 years for the first floor, I have no idea how long it would have taken for the second floor
So, here is what I was thinking... I feel as if this list is supposed to make me feel bad about myself - like look at all the things I never finished. But, I don't feel remotely bad about this list. Instead, I look at the list as items that once interested me but when I tried them I lost interest. I mean, did anyone actually (I'm using that word in homage to my nieces) think I would be 35 and playing the viola? It was only ever an interest. And it's okay for interests to fall by the wayside. They don't define who I am.
And then I made a list of the things I don't slack on:
- Being a wife (hmmm, maybe I should double check with Brian on this one)
- Being a mother
- Being the most authentic me I can be (who just let Oprah on my blog?)
So far, the blog is not on either list since some weeks I'm highly dedicated and some weeks not so much. But at least I haven't lost interest... yet.