Thursday, April 5, 2012

10 Reasons My Children Are Smarter Than You

Why Evan is Smarter Than You
  1. ABCDs.  That is what Evan calls his alphabet.  You probably call your alphabet the "ABCs" and I'm sure you think that your way makes more sense.  But, take a second and sing the song in your head... now who makes more sense?
  2. Pajamas are comfortable during the day and clothes are over-rated.  I'm sure that most mornings you wake up, take off your pajamas, shower, and get dressed in clothes.  Evan doesn't and he probably things you're nuts.  You see, if your pajamas were comfortable enough to sleep in then why wouldn't they be comfortable enough to wear during the day?  Lost of days Evan keeps his pajam tops on (he would keep on his bottoms too but I refuse to allow him to wear belt-less pants since that usually leads to no pants, no diaper, and peeing in my shower.  Some days Evan chooses to only wear his diaper.  This means he has no tight clothing to deal with, no zippers eating in to his skin, no adjusting... now who's smarter?
  3. Being friendly will get you friends.  I know, this one sounds like it's common sense.  But when you walk down the street do you say "hi" to everyone you see?  Do you make sure to wave at garbage men, construction workers, and postmen?  Evan does.  And you know what, people stop to say hi back (yes, even when we lived in East Atlanta even though I wasn't always excited about who stopped to say hi).  This is how I've met most people in my neighborhood... because Evan is friendly.
  4. If adults like you, then you can get away with murder.  Most of us try to be sly when we do bad things.  Not Evan, he makes you believe he could never do anything bad and then does it right in front of your face.  But, by that point you are so "under his spell" you can't believe it's happening.  For instance, at his school in Atlanta, my well-adjusted child started to steal snack off of other children's plates.  He waited to do this until everyone at the school thought he was so good he didn't even need to be watched.  And when they told me... they were laughing.  He got away with it (and this works on mommy too).
  5. Music is the common language.  I can't tell you how many times we've been at the park and Evan has made friends because he started to sing with someone.  What I'm saying is that when Evan wants to play with someone who doesn't speak English, HE DOESN'T JUST  SCREAM AT THEM TO SEE IF THEY WILL UNDERSTAND ENGLISH LOUDER.

Why Chloe is Smarter Than You
  1. If it doesn't taste good then don't play with it. I'm thinking that if more people adhered to this policy then there would be fewer problems.  Seriously, how many drugs actually taste good (they make you feel good... but taste good)? 
  2. Both hands should be full at the same time - always.  The other day Chloe was walking around with a piece of graham cracker in each hand (I know, she eats everything, Evan feeds her like she's a pet) and because both hands were full she couldn't play with the screw that Evan had left on the floor (please don't ask me why Evan had a screw).  There are a lot of  bad things that Chloe avoids this way (unless of course her hands are full of bad things... but that is a different story).
  3. Silence gets you more attention than crying.  This seems to go against the cliche of "the squeaky wheel gets the oil" but Chloe has figured this one out.  Think about it, if Chloe is crying I know exactly where she is and based on the kind of cry I know if I have to go get her right away, if I have a couple of minutes, or if she will be able to soothe herself.  But, if I'm doing dishes and all the sudden I can't remember when was the last time I heard Chloe, I'm off lookin for her immediately.  Most of the time she is just sitting around playing somewhere, but it was the silence that got my attention.
  4. There is no such thing as too much of a good thing. I never understood the concept that you can have too much of a good thing and neither does Chloe.  If one egg is good then two eggs are fabulous. And if she doesn't want the second egg then it's no longer a good thing and she won't eat it.  It's all perspective.
  5. Taking her stuff is not okay.  Too often, as grown-ups we allow people to take some things, not like our TV, but like our pens and other miscellaneous items.  Chloe would tell you it is NEVER okay to take something.  She will cry and let you know.  This does not mean she won't share, it means you can not "take."  And maybe we shouldn't let people take either.

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