The “’tween times” is how I’m referring to the 2 years between getting married and moving to Texas.
Brian and I got married in May, 2004. At the point, we really only had one married couple friend, Danielle & Ted, and no friends with kids. Everyone else was either dating or getting ready to get married. Quickly after us, I can think of 4 couples that got married within the next year. And I can also think of 4 couples who got pregnant within the next year – oddly, they are all the same couples.
I wasn’t ready to think about kids just yet (I think my pack-a-day habit contributed to that) and Brian was just getting started in his career and had no interest in children either. So we bought a house, Brian started to work for the city of Philadelphia (someday I might let him guest post about some of the lessons he learned while working there), I got a job working at a sub-prime mortgage company (which, surprisingly, no longer exists), and we got 3 cats – or more accurately we got 2 cats, Bubba cat was always around.
This was the time when we were working out that whole couple thing. Like how we were learning to depend more on each other rather than our families and how we were learning to blend decorating tastes and compromise. You’d think that some of these things would be taken care of before you get married, but it just isn’t true (and I can hear my mother saying “I told you so” as she reads this so shout out to you mom). I guess all that planning for the wedding, trying to figure out where to seat people, and other nonsense takes over.
We had even merged our bank account and by unanimous decision I got put in charge. I voted for me because money makes me anxious so I like to know what is going on with it. Brian voted for me because he claims in his younger days he used to play ATM Roulette – he would put in his pin number and see if any money would come out.
We were all grown-up and feeling pretty good about our lives. And then, our closest couple friends starting trying to get pregnant and some people we knew were on round 2. Here is the conversation Brian and I had as these baby things kept happening around us:
Me: Are you read to have kids?
Him: I don’t know – are you?
Me: I want to know what you are thinking.
Him: But I want to know what you are thinking.
Musical interlude while we continue on our all grown-up conversation, I don’t want to subject you to this. Hum something to yourself.
Me: I don’t think I’m ready.
Him: Are you just saying that?
Me: No. I mean it. People always say you will know when you are ready and I’m not.
Him: When do you think you will be ready?
Danger Will Rogers, danger (red lights flashing everywhere).
For those of you who don’t remember post #1… I hate planning – I mean I seriously hate planning. And, since I don’t think I made this clear in post #3, Brian LOVES to plan – he loves it in a way that I will never understand. In the present, on July 29, 2009, Brian and I have been able to come to some sort of understanding about our planning tendencies. Like, I try and be very understanding and not run screaming from the room when we plan our weekends or if we need to plan a trip somewhere. I can even actively engage in these conversations now. And Brian has become very good at not poking or prodding when he asks me for a timeframe and I answer “I’ll just know.”
But, the conversation I’m quoting above happened 4 years ago and we weren’t quite at this higher level of coupledom yet. And because of that I won’t bore you with what happened next. I can’t remember exactly, but I’m sure there was yelling, frustration, possibly some tears (which may have been true or just for effect), and I can guarantee you… no resolution. Aaah – the good old days.
So, we didn’t have kids – at that point anyway. Instead, we had dinner parties, Christmas parties, BBQs, Sunday Football watching, and many other types of friends hanging out at our house. And I thought, if this is as good as it gets then I’m okay with that.
Then Brian came home to tell me had an interview with the State of Texas. Yes, Texas y’all. I thought the same thing… cowboys, tumbleweeds, and of course... J.R. And I wondered - were there even Italians in Texas?